There is nobody home.
Of course, excluding myself and her.
She is asleep somewhere. I don’t know where and I don’t care.
I am here, lying alone on this bed, my hands and legs stretched out.
I feel good and I feel lazy. Very lazy.
You know what would make this a whole lot better - if someone would just come feed me and give me a nice big hug.
I really really wish someone would. Anyone.
I look around, hoping there is somebody. But, there ain’t nobody.
Well, there is, but I don’t know where the fuck she is. She doesn’t care and neither do I.
I get off the bed and walk around the house, hoping I find someone. Yes! There she is, sleeping on the chair with a blanket, as if in a coma. I don’t care about her and like most times, I ignore her.
I walk into the kitchen. There is food, enough to last me for the day. I could do with more. I mean, I could always do with more. I like to eat and I won’t apologise for that.
I eat some food and drink a few sips of water. I leave some for later. It’s not how I usually do things. But this time, I feel full.
I look around the house, hoping I find somebody.
Nobody in the bathroom. Nope.
Nobody in the study.
Life is exhausting.
It really is.
Some would perhaps say that it couldn’t get better than this. I would have to disagree with them. Less is more, is what I would say to them.
Less is really more. I mean, imagine if you could just lay in bed all day and someone would come feed you and take care of your poop and pee. That would be awesome, wouldn’t it?
That’s really what I am talking about.
All those people who really want to work their asses off should come help me make my dream come true. They would achieve their purpose and be happy and I would be happy too. A win-win, if you ask me.
I really hope I find someone who can do that for me. I do really hope. I am a dreamer, but I also want this dream of mine to become a reality.
I do really hope that someone finds me, rather than me going about and finding that someone. I do not want to spend my time trying to find that someone.
I am back in the kitchen.
I smell something funny in the air, like something I haven’t smelt in a long time. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hopefully she knows what it is. I will try and ask her, when she is awake. Or maybe, I should wake her up now and ask her. Perhaps, smack her in the face to wake her up.
I’ve always wanted to smack her in the face. But then, I have smacked her one too many times.
The smell reminds me of something from when I was younger. Something that would excite me and get my adrenaline going. I just can’t seem to put a finger on what it could be, right now.
It sounds like something bad and good. But, I can’t be bothered about it anymore. She will handle it when she wakes up.
I eat some and drink more water. I drink a lot of water. Drinking water is good for your health, I think. I don’t necessarily know why. I feel good and so I think it must be healthy.
I sit down and look at the ceiling. There is nothing on the ceiling. It is empty. I sit and stare at the ceiling for a while. It is peaceful.
A few minutes pass. I look down at the floor. Square tiles, with random dots on it. There are cracks and scratches on the floor.
I sit and stare at the floor for a while, letting time pass me by.
I just like to sit and do nothing. Think nothing.
Just sit and stare. I feel so peaceful.
Sometimes, I just lay in the bath tub, without any water in it. I find it relaxing.
Of course, all of this eating, drinking and relaxing adds more cells to my bones.
People look at me and think I am fat. I am not.
I am big boned.